it’s really  time to let go of the ”f” past…hehe pero i really never knew na magiging ganito pala talaga ako kasaya… after the rain there will always be a sunshine … hindi naman totoo yung your first love  will always remain in your heart.wahahaha hindi kaya,,, pasaway…=) lil by lil na overcome ko rin lahat2 ng pain na ipinaramdam nya sakin… woo literally,ang tagal na eh… pero siguro ngayon lang dumating sakin na i really need to let go of him.besides, hindi naman ako yung nagloko eh.ewan ko ba, bakit pa nagkaroon ng taong tulad nila dito sa mundong ibabaw.hehe besides, i really do believe in great karma noh.woohoo=) thanks to kim he’s always there for me talaga… sobrang bulag na bulag ako dun sa taong un… to the point hindi ko na napapansin yung iba na nagbibigay halaga sakin… my parents just opened my eyes to see reality,hahaha  he’s not worth it talaga… sana lang matangap nya yung family nya the way they are… all im praying now is sana hindi sya makatagpo ng babaeng gagago rin sakanya.the way he did to me…hahaha 3rdparty and literally degrading me!woo heavy!!!i wont say GODBLESS to him…. goodluck nalang sayo.hehe  tnx for my happiness now. your the best! love!=)

i was cleaning my room earlier this day..when i saw this box of letters from my then boyfriend…hehehehe natawa nalang ako eh,=) btw,i saw him last thursday sa aup with his friends.woohoo anyways,it’s been awhile narin pala since the last time i read his corny but sweet letters. how ironic naman noh…hahahaha he said to his letters he cant live his life w/out me. constant pa un…pero ngayon as if he doesnt know who i am.=)ay nako naaadik na naman ako…=) parang last night lang i was reading my diary…grabe it’s all about him! ano ba yan… cant get over ba ako or what…=) it’s been two years already since we broke up… maybe you’ll feel something lang talaga pag nakita mo ang past mo… hehehehe =) grabe parang biglang flashback yon ah.hahahaha kasi my friends & i passed-by his old boarding house… nung saturday… the boarding house i used to spend my weekend with him.=) katawa… bigla nalang nila akong sinisita,, kasi daw they caught me smiling miske wala raw nakakatawa. anu ba naman yan.whats happening to me….aaahhhhhhh=) anyways,bigla lang naman talagang sumagi yon eh. siguro all i really miss right now is his company… ung mga corny jokes na super kainis pero tatawa ka kasi nga nakakainis.hahahaha tsaka ung mga moves nya na parang kay ramon bautista.hahahahah comidyante rin kasi ung ugok na un eh.hahahaha well just missing him lang. kasi pasaway din un eh. miske were always fighting siguro masmatimbang prin talaga ung manga happy moments namin kaysa sa sad.hahahaha ay nako tama na nga… i sound so pathetic na eh.woo i just need to unwind kasi nga nakita ko sya…….aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh stop reminiscing na nga donia!!! he has some1 na noh!heheheh=)

it’s what…3:40 am & still awake. it’s saturday aug 8,09 damn shit! i hate this day! & the date… yeah i remember aug 8 is the anniv. of my 1st relationship & now it’s the day my recent sweetheart left for the state…i really hate this… ahhhhh… wondering what he’s doing know in the plane,maybe he’s asleep ryt now.. i really hate feeling this way,,even we just have a 7month,he really did show me how deep & sincere he was..courting me for a year is a long journey..but it really wont work for the both of us becoz were to far from each other..the 1st one pa nga lang didnt work out,dito lang un. what more yung super layo pa…im afraid what might happen,,i dont know…i really dont..=( maybe im just hurting kaya ako ganito… hope it would passssss ssooonn. the 1st one i had…everything i have & everything that i can do for him i did it already..but still it didnt workout the way i want it to be…i loved him soo much,that i came to the point of crying every day&night..even my family cant talk to me properly…kasi nga kaonting usap lang my tears would burst out from my swelling eye’s..kaya my nanay talk to me heart to heart.. & told me na sayang nga daw ung guy kasi they really love him that much already as if he is their own…but still he told me that stop doing things becouse he wont comeback to me anymore.it hurts…hard to let go & hard to forget… pero ngayong i have some1 na i call mine again…things just happen…that i cant pass through it…SUPER SAKIT… i admit it that i didnt give my hundred percent in this 1 but i did my best.i did what i could… im just afraid of the things might happen or the pass is repeating itself,i dont want to have a 3rdparty again.now i really know that if im not yet ready… dont rush things in Gods time it will come to you…love is not a game that you can play with..i believe in karma…once you play with some one’s heart it will come back to you. =’)

well nothing more to say than thanks for being here with me for what? a month? i know that you did not like what i told you…the anwers to your questions…=) i know that you know…that im not yet ready to go to another one,,but you push it too hard this time…& i think i still cant…it’s still in my heart… i wish you happiness,=) your there to enjoy your life… enjoy your being single,ok… dont worry about me,im just here…& ill always be… but i cant promise you that when you return it will be the same. i will still be a friend that you can count on,& that a promise you… there’s nothing you can do to change my mind… all i want now is to focus in my studies… hahahahah dont worry i still love you. it’s not that easy to get over with someone that became so special to you,ryt?=) i cried my heart out last night… i think that’s enough. tnx for loving me so much love… i just cant lie  to you about some thing like this… tnx tnx tnx hope you wont get mad @ me for doing this… till we meet again… godbless & take care always. =)

we just moved out from our recent house in Q.C. & im just starting to adjust in my new environment.(my room,bathroom,stairs,hallways,etc) i hope & pray that there’s no spooky things going around in this house @ times i feel paranoid especially when im home alone…but atleast im not like some1 i knew,,he’ll stay @ 1corner of his room because he’s so scared. he’s such a baby!=)joke!=) anyways,the reason why im praying for it so hard because i don’t want to experience the things that i’ve experience in that house.(the old 1)huhuhu=) because some1’s always knocking @ my window in the wee hours of the night. @ 1st i thought it’s just my boyfriend who just then went to the terminal to catch the last trip going home to olongapo.then i thought maybe he came back from the terminal because the last trip just left, but when i went to see who’s knocking…there’s no 1 there…then i decided to call him up to ask were he is,,he said…hunny dito na po ako sa san fernando… then by the time he said that he’s not the 1 who’s knocking i start to freakout…i just calm myself & said that it’s just my imagination… after calming myself i then shut my eye’s. but every single night i still hear the knocking sound & i ignored it,,i stayed in that room for about 5to6 months,by the time my dete(kath) gave birth to joaquin they stayed in the house for 4months so i moved to another room…1morning when were having our breakfast my dete told us that some1’s alway’s knocking @ the window,but everytime her husband look’s there’s no 1 there. so my brother went to the guard of the village to ask if there’s always an outsider in the village…especially @ the wee hours of the night. then my brother told the guard that every nigth there’s some1 knocking @ my sister’s room. the guard told him…sir,baka yong boy friend lang po yon ng kapatid nyo.then he told the guard that our sister has a husband. & her husband is always there beside her because she just gave birth… then the guard said…eh sir,,wala naman pong nakakapasok na ibang tao dito ng mga ganung oras eh.maliban nalang po kung kasama yong mga tiga rito sa atin. we all just ignored to what happened,my dete & her family went home,so we just decided that we will just put cabinet’s & keyway’s in the room. so no1 is sleeping there anymore.my family & i just forgot that incident easily,because every body know’s that im really scared of almost everything.hahahahaha=) two months ago while im cooking in the dirty kitchen some1 called in a whistle…so i said,whhheeee akala mo naman hindi kita nakita,but honestly i havent seen the person who whistled @ me. so i looked @ the door but there’s no1 there so i run in the room were they are,,,i said to my siblings,whhheeee akala nyo naman hindi ko kayo makikita.they ask why… i told them that some1 whistled @ me in the dirty kitchen…& they told me that no1 is living the room seen’s i went out. i told them that it wasn’t a good joke…my ate tin said,honestly,wala pang lumalabas…simula nung lumabas ka!=( creepy!!! i never went out to the dirty kitchen alone. i went there when i have some1 beside me.hehehehehe=) they said that a 14 yrold girl died in our recent house & our neighbors always see a girl in our balcony. the room that i stayed in for 6 month’s it’s her’s!!!=(

another week just passed away just like a blink of the eye…hahahah anyways,there’s so much to be done … the sem-break is almost done & im going to miss all my friends coz were no longer seeing each other…hahahaha especially my 1 & only u!=)hehehehe i know that your just a call away,it’s just that im really gonna miss you alot coz im going to be so busy  this coming sem… you know that already,right?hehehehe to my best friends… igee & tata guys i love you so much. sorry coz im really busy lately …i really dont have time..you guys know that im just here right…pare thanks for always being there…=)

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